Insulting Status Updates

Awesome ends with "me", ugly starts with "u"
I tried to see things your way, but I couldn't get my head that far up my ass!
Best part about being me is, I'm NOT you!
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege
I'm bored, you're boring, so don't leave a message
Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
I like long walks especially when they're taken by people like you
The Village called and said they were looking for you. They're missing their idiot
Listen, if I wanted to talk to you, I would be here, wouldn't I?
All the idiots of the world have surrounded one smartphone... yours
I obviously don't want to talk to you right now, so leave a message and I'll be sure to ignore it
I'm obviously doing something more important than you
I'm not here right now, because I'm waiting for you to get offline