Insulting Status Updates

I'm not here right now, because I'm waiting for you to get offline

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception

The Village called and said they were looking for you. They're missing their idiot

When the virus is over, I still want some of you to stay away from me

Listen, if I wanted to talk to you, I would be here, wouldn't I?

Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

Best part about being me is, I'm NOT you!

I obviously don't want to talk to you right now, so leave a message and I'll be sure to ignore it

I'm obviously doing something more important than you

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege

I like long walks especially when they're taken by people like you

I tried to see things your way, but I couldn't get my head that far up my ass!

All the idiots of the world have surrounded one smartphone... yours

I'm bored, you're boring, so don't leave a message