Insulting Status Updates

I tried to see things your way, but I couldn't get my head that far up my ass!

Best part about being me is, I'm NOT you!

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception

When the virus is over, I still want some of you to stay away from me

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege

I'm bored, you're boring, so don't leave a message

Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

I like long walks especially when they're taken by people like you

The Village called and said they were looking for you. They're missing their idiot

Listen, if I wanted to talk to you, I would be here, wouldn't I?

All the idiots of the world have surrounded one smartphone... yours

I obviously don't want to talk to you right now, so leave a message and I'll be sure to ignore it

I'm obviously doing something more important than you

I'm not here right now, because I'm waiting for you to get offline