Funny Status Quotes & Messages

Update the status in your favorite apps (e.g. WhatsApp, Facebook, Discord etc.) with the funny messages below.

I'm not immature, I just know how to have fun

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it

Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!

Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones to make

Life is beautiful... from Friday to Monday

Some people just need a High-Five, on the face

I'm not sad for being single. Rather I'm thinking about my better half, who is single because of me

I don't care what other say or think about me, at least I am attractive to mosquitoes

If you hate wearing a mask, it's highly likely you're not going to enjoy the ventilator

I like playing with my cat when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober

When your Dr. says "I'll need to Google that"... you know it's time to change the doctor

Before Coronavirus, I'd cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough

Bigfoot saw me yesterday but no one believes him

I'm having a quarantine party this weekend. None of you are invited!

75% of gym members don't even know their gym is closed

Time is precious. Waste it wisely

I wish I were you, so I could be friends with me

I'll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib!

Smart people like me don't use away messages... I am so smart!

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

Why do people use away messages? they're so stupid!

I'm right 90% of the time, so why worry about the other 3%?

Back in 5 minutes. If not, read this status again

I'd grill your cheese! ~me, flirting

Math and alcohol don't mix. Please don't drink and drive

I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday

There's this lost cause I believe is called myself

When life gives you lemons, throw them at someone!

I am stranded on toilet island